Case #28 - The talking pants

Nancy covered the gammut of issues. She felt there was a gap between being authentic, and her behaviour. She had a child from a first marriage; there had been very little real substance in the relationship, rarely living together.

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Case #29 - Growing up the angry little girl

Cathy brought the issue of ‘resentment towards father’. I asked what she resented, she replied, that he had divorced with her mother when she was 4. I explored the nature of her field. That was 20 years ago, and she had only seen her father 10 times since then. She knew very little about him.

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Case #30 - A good reason not to feel sexual

Bridgit reported having a ‘frozen’ feeling in her lower back and genital area. She was divorced 5 years and had not been able to find another relationship.

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Case #31 - Trading sex for intimacy

Louise said she wanted more passion in her relationship. Her husband had an affair 5 years ago. It had lasted about a year. He confessed, went down on his knees and begged forgiveness, and finished it. Since then things had slowly been improving, but theres still some issues outstanding for Louise.

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Case #32 - Authentic resources

Diane had two issues. The first was that her first son, 12 was not studying as hard as she would have liked him to. I asked on a scale, how well was he doing, and she replied 6 or 7. Did he do his homework? Yes. But the fact is to get into a top school a child had to have top scores, and so the pressure was on.

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Case #33 - A full and authentic disclosure

James’ issue was that he worked hard all week, often flying to other cities, and then came home on a Friday. Having been away, he looked forward to returning. It was important to him that his wife and child were at home, and he could walk into the feeling of ‘home’.

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Case #34 - Contact and authenticity

Nathan was a solidly built man, thoughtful, with a clear and strong presence. His issue was authenticity. He didn't feel like he was really authentic with others. He almost never fought or argued. He was cooperative at work and at home.

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Case #35 - Angry at the ex

Marion raised the issue of shared parenting arrangements with her ex husband. It became clear that this was not a substantive concern. What was more relevant was her discomfort and unfinished business with him.

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Case #36 - The woman who didn't feel anything

Brenda spoke of not having a clear identity - she easily lost a sense of boundaries, and over identified with others. She also spoke of being shy, not liking to be photographed or put under the spotlight. These were indications of a need to proceed cautiously and sensitively, and aware of potential shame issues (exposure related).

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Case #37 - The abusive spear, and the protective spear

I guessed Celia to be in her 30’s, but in fact she was 51, with a few kids. What was remarkable though was just how hard a life she had had, yet she appeared calm - and hence, her youthful appearance. These were things that I didnt have the space to explore, though I noted for any future work. Its always important to recognise immediate impressions, and even with familiar clients to ‘look with new eyes’ in order to note discrepancies or things of relevance therapeutically.

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Case #38 - - The woman who failed

emma’s concern was failure. She failed at everything - had 5 accidents working for one company, made computing errors for another, on and on, she felt like a failure.

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Case # 39 - The strong florist

When I asked for volunteers, Fran jumped up. I noted to her that previously, she had been the first one to ask a question. Rather than ask her questions, I started with the points of connection I already had with her - things I recognised, and then my response to those aspects of my experience of her.

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Case #40 - Needing support, needing independence

Martha had tears in her eyes, and was biting her lip. I observed this and she said she was trying to hold back her feelings. I invited her to breathe, and be present… and then the tears flowed more.

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Case #41 - The disturbing client

Francis was coughing, in a way which really grated on me. She came up to work, and I brought it up - I said, ‘well, you certainly got my attention with that cough’. She said ‘yes, she tended to disturb people’. I replied ‘well you disturbed me with the cough’.

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Case #42 - Safe and Unsafe

Yasmin had recently divorced. She talked about wanting to mature and separate out more from her parents. She had a lot of emotion in her eyes, which I observed and remarked on, along with various other things about her - a colourful shawls, beads around her neck.

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Case #43 - The Toxic Voice of Mother

Theresa had left a secure job to start her own company. ‘For the challenge’ was the reason she gave. But she experienced strong anxiety much of the time - except when she knew that something was going to fail. As she approached success, she felt anxious right until the moment when the success was completely secured. The anxiety was also reflected in her personal life.

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Case #44 - The cocoon, and rebirth

Nicole was clearly distressed. She talked about a dream she had, relating the image of a cocoon that she was afraid to break out of, not knowing if she would be transformed, or just die.

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Case #45 - How to deal with misery

Betty wanted to talk about her fear. She couldn't identify what it was about, or what it was connected to. But before I acquiesced to her focus, I wanted to know more about her. I asked about children, marriage, work. She had recently resigned from a job she had held for 20 years, and was in a transition period. Her family life was settled and secure, her daughter beautiful and talented, and her husband loved her.

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